There are a few inherent weaknesses in preparations to adopt.
As we wrestled with the unique difficulties each of our children came into this world with, we learned very quickly that our preparation to be parents to children of trauma (which defines pretty much every child in the state foster and adoptive systems) was extremely inadequate. We really needed A LOT more specific preparation.
Like many prospective parents deep down we were naïve. We felt that lots of love, structure and consistency would resolve most issues over time. “Our love and Jesus” will turn these kids around. While not entirely untrue of course, it is MUCH harder than that. Much harder.
In the 1990s (when we started adopting) they really were still operating in the dark when it came to understanding the effects of trauma and especially alcohol in utero in the development of the brain and research on the issue of attachment was still relatively new. These issues have become extremely important for adoptive parents to understand. We know so much more now than we did then. If you would like to learn more, explore our website and be sure to check out some of the resource links. You will be glad you did!